Growth | 12 Rules for Life - Jordan Peterson (2018)

🐵 I. Quick Summary:

Jordan Peterson is a scholar, a professor of psychology at University of Toronto, and speaker who possesses a wizard-like ability to communicate with exceptional clarity, and I aspire to learn from his mastery of language. I am sure I am not exaggerating by saying he became the ultimate 'father' and 'mentor' figure for our generation. His  "12 Rules for Life" is a self-help book that offers a unique perspective on how individuals can live a meaningful and fulfilling life by embracing personal responsibility, becoming self-disciplined, developing a strong sense of morality, and facing challenges with courage and grace.

12 Rules for Life

1. "Stand up straight with your shoulders back."
2. "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping."
3. "Make friends with people who want the best for you."
4. "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."
5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."
6. "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world."
7. "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)."
8. "Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie."
9. "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't."
10. "Be precise in your speech."
11. "Do not bother children while they are skateboarding."
12. "Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street."

1. "Stand up straight with your shoulders back."

• Confidence is key in making a good impression and dealing with the challenges of life.
• Good posture can improve self-esteem and signal confidence to others.
• Example: Peterson describes how lobsters, an ancient creature, use good posture to establish dominance and secure their place in society.

2. "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping."

• We often prioritize the needs of others over our own.
• Taking care of yourself first allows you to better care for others.
• Example: Peterson suggests that treating yourself well is similar to taking care of a pet that you are responsible for.

3. "Make friends with people who want the best for you."

• Surrounding yourself with positive influences can have a significant impact on your wellbeing.
• Good friends can provide support and guidance through life's challenges.
• Example: Peterson shares how his friendship with a colleague helped him overcome depression.

4. "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."

• Focusing on your own progress rather than comparing yourself to others can lead to a sense of fulfillment.
• Comparison to others can lead to envy and unhappiness.
• Example: Peterson compares the progress of a marathon runner to their own previous time, rather than to other runners.

5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."

• Parents must provide structure and discipline for their children in order to help them grow into responsible adults.
• It's important to set boundaries and hold children accountable for their actions.
• Example: Peterson shares how allowing his son to behave poorly in public led to an uncomfortable encounter with a stranger.

6. "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world."

• Before criticizing others, we should first work on improving ourselves and our immediate surroundings.
• Taking responsibility for our own lives can have a ripple effect on the world around us.
• Example: Peterson emphasizes the importance of making our own beds each day, as a small but meaningful act of personal responsibility.

7. "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)."

• It's important to strive for goals that are meaningful and align with our values, rather than taking the easy path.
• Achieving meaningful goals can lead to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
• Example: Peterson discusses the value of religious belief in providing a sense of meaning and purpose for some individuals.

8. "Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie."

• Honesty is crucial for building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.
• Telling the truth, even if it's difficult, can prevent more serious problems down the line.
• Example: Peterson shares a personal story about being caught in a lie as a child, and how it affected his relationship with his mother.

9. "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't."

• Listening to others with an open mind can broaden our understanding of the world.
• Everyone has something valuable to offer, and assuming the best in others can foster better communication.
• Example: Peterson shares a story about a conversation he had with a taxi driver, who provided valuable insights on life and relationships.

10. "Be precise in your speech."

• Clear and accurate communication is essential for avoiding misunderstandings and getting what we want.
• Being precise in our language can also help us better understand our own thoughts and feelings.
• Example: Peterson discusses how the use of ambiguous language can create confusion and lead to conflict.

11. Do not bother children while they are skateboarding."

• Allowing children to engage in risky or challenging activities can help them develop confidence and resilience.
• Overprotective parenting can lead to anxiety and a lack of self-sufficiency in children.
• Example: Peterson describes how allowing his daughter to climb trees helped her develop physical and emotional strength.

12. "Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street."

• Taking the time to appreciate small moments of beauty and joy can improve our overall sense of well-being.
• Cultivating a sense of gratitude can lead to greater happiness and contentment.
• Example: Peterson shares a personal story about encountering a beautiful sunset and feeling a sense of awe and appreciation.

💯II. Key Takeaways:

1. Take responsibility for your own life and work to improve yourself before criticizing others or the world around you.
2. Surround yourself with positive influences and cultivate meaningful relationships with those who support your growth and well-being.
3. Be honest, precise, and open-minded in your communication with others.
4. Allow yourself and others to engage in challenging or risky activities, as this can lead to growth and development.
5. Take time to appreciate small moments of beauty and joy in everyday life, and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the good things in your life.

🛰️III. Other suggested references:

▶️ Jordan Peterson's website. Check out his other books and also courses on 'Self Authoring,' which is one of my favorite exercises. If you are obsessed with the memories of the past, that means you are stuck in the past and parts of your brain need to be re-wired. If not addressed, anxiety can cause a constant state of fight or flight, affecting your daily life. These guided prompts help you write your autobiography and clean things up.  Let me know how it goes if you ever try!

▶️ Here is a book recommendation list by Jordan Peterson for your next book.