DEI + Leadership | Building Confidence: Tips for Self-Critical Women

Hi All,

Today, I wanted to talk about 'confidence.' The inspiration for this blog is me (Oftentimes, I am now writing about the subject that I want to tell myself!) + numerous women I've been talking to from their teenage years to people in their 90s. Building confidence can be a challenging journey, especially for women who tend to be self-critical (Anyone out there? Certainly one vote from me). It can be tough to believe in ourselves and show our worth to others when we are constantly questioning our abilities and comparing ourselves to others. However, developing confidence is crucial to achieving success and happiness in both our personal and professional lives. In this post, we will discuss some practical strategies that can help women build more confidence and show it to others. From acknowledging our strengths to developing a positive mindset, these tips will empower women to feel more self-assured and embrace their unique talents and abilities. So, let's get started on the journey to building more confidence!

Tips for Building Confidence

Self-criticism can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can motivate us to strive for excellence and improve ourselves. On the other hand, it can lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and a lack of confidence. If you're a self-critical woman who struggles with confidence, you're not alone. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to build your confidence and show it to others.

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk and Self-Doubt
The first step to building confidence is to recognize and challenge negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can include thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I'm a failure." Self-doubt can hold you back from reaching your full potential.  When you catch yourself thinking these thoughts, challenge them with evidence to the contrary. For example, if you're thinking "I'm not good enough," ask yourself, "What evidence do I have to support that thought?" You may find that there is little or no evidence to support it. You can also remind yourself of a time when you did succeed in a similar situation. Practice reframing negative thoughts into positive affirmations to help build your confidence over time.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself!!!
Self-compassion is another important aspect of building confidence. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness when you make mistakes or face difficulties. Instead of beating yourself up for your shortcomings, try to be kind and supportive to yourself, as you would to a friend. Research has shown that self-compassion can help to reduce self-criticism and increase self-confidence.

3. Priortize yourself and Self-Care
Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally can help you feel more confident. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. Prioritize your needs and set boundaries to prevent burnout and exhaustion.

4. Take Action
Taking action is a powerful way to build confidence. When you take action, you prove to yourself that you are capable and competent. Start by setting small goals for yourself and taking steps to achieve them. As you achieve these goals, your confidence will grow, and you can gradually set larger goals.

5. Step outside of your comfort zone
Pushing yourself to try new things can help you build confidence and expand your comfort zone. Start small by taking on a new task or trying a new hobby, and gradually challenge yourself with bigger goals. Remember that making mistakes and facing challenges are opportunities for growth and learning.

6. Use Power Poses
Power poses are another strategy that can help to boost confidence. Power poses involve standing in a confident, assertive posture, such as standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, your hands on your hips, and your chest lifted. Research has shown that power poses can increase feelings of confidence and reduce feelings of stress. Check out Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk about this!

7. Share Your Achievements
Finally, don't be afraid to share your achievements with others. I know - this one is a bit cringe, right? It took me awhile to find a balanced way to share my latest achievements without coming across too braggy or all over the place. I realized, this is simply a function of informing people about what I have been working on, and also a great way to find other like-minded people who might want to collaborate with me or share ideas with me.

Many people, especially women, tend to focus on their flaws and weaknesses rather than their strengths and accomplishments. To build confidence, it's important to shift your focus and acknowledge your successes. Take time to reflect on your past achievements, no matter how small they may seem, and give yourself credit for them. Write them down and revisit them when you need a confidence boost. Also, share with others on social media, LinkedIn, and in person. When you share your achievements, you not only build confidence in yourself, but you also inspire and encourage others. Don't downplay your accomplishments or shy away from sharing your successes. Celebrate your achievements and be proud of what you've accomplished.

Tips for Showing Confidence to Others

1.Use confident body language
Your body language can convey confidence to others, even when you don't feel confident inside. Stand tall, make eye contact, and use an assertive tone of voice when speaking. Avoid fidgeting or crossing your arms, which can make you appear closed off and uncertain. Check out the video below by Joe Navarro - former FBI agent and body language expert - how you can do this!  

2. Speak up and share your ideas
Don't be afraid to speak up and share your thoughts and ideas. Practice speaking with conviction and clarity, and don't apologize for your opinions. Remember that your perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard.

3. Accept compliments graciously
When someone compliments you, resist the urge to downplay your achievements or deflect the compliment. Instead, accept it graciously and thank the person for their kind words. This can help reinforce positive self-talk and boost your confidence over time.

4. Surround yourself with supportive people
Surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and support your goals can help you feel more confident. Seek out mentors, friends, or colleagues who can offer encouragement and constructive feedback. Avoid people who bring you down or make you doubt yourself.

Conclusion

In conclusion, building confidence is a crucial step in achieving success and happiness in both our personal and professional lives. Women, who tend to be self-critical, can struggle with confidence, but there are practical strategies that can help. The tips mentioned include challenging negative self-talk, practicing self-compassion, prioritizing self-care, taking action, stepping outside of comfort zones, using power poses, and sharing achievements. To show confidence to others, women can use confident body language, speak up and share their ideas, accept compliments graciously, and surround themselves with supportive people. Building confidence is a journey, but with time and consistent effort, women can learn to embrace their unique talents and abilities and feel more self-assured. Please let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you - what are some tips that resonated with you most? Share your favorites and achievements with others to inspire and encourage them to do the same!

*Bonus: In this video, former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro explains how we can project confidence through our body language. Joe takes a look at various celebrities and politicians and demonstrates the things that they do that can help them appear more confident.

He emphasizes that confidence can be quiet and that theatrical displays of power are not necessarily indicative of true confidence. Confident people command themselves and transmit their confidence outward.

💯 Key takeaways

Here are some tips for showing confidence through body language:

1. Be comfortable in the room and look around without hesitation.

2. Have smooth and broad gestures.

3. Maintain good posture and present yourself well.

4. Walk with a sense of purpose, as if you are on a mission.

5. Make eye contact with others.

6. Take your time when answering questions or performing tasks to demonstrate that you are in control.

7. Model behaviors of high-status individuals that you admire.

8. Pay attention to your vocabulary and change your gestures to fit in with the society.

9. Use a confident and deep voice.

🛰️ Other Recommended Resources

• Book: "The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
• TED Talk: "Your body language may shape who you are" by Amy Cuddy
• Masterclass - YouTube: "How to Build Confidence and Overcome Imposter Syndrome" with Lisa Orbé-Austin